pops

A simple joy of sitting out in the agreeable Tucson evening air and listening to the Tucson Pops. 

Baking

Well it’s Memorial Day Weekend.

I had a good phone call with a friend that brought up a lot of power-full feelings. And for reasons known to me and my Inner Self we went into baking-mode after a healthy salad-laden lunch. 

* Low-brow Jiffy Muffins - then I made home-made buttercream frosting for on top. (SOOO delicious) 

* Chocolate chip cookies

Vacation

Vacation. Let's see: * Middle English = vacacioun * Stemming from Anglo-French vacacion * Borrowed from Latin = vacātiōn

"exemption from service, respite from work

and then there's:

"to be empty, be free, have leisure

So I have 5 days off. Consequatively. Sort of impromptu. I had vacation days I needed to use up. So, Friday 5/21 I decide (and was granted) a bunch of 1/2 days and full days leading up to this Friday: 5/27 where I have Friday, (Saturday, Sunday), Monday (holiday), and Tuesday off. What do I do with myself?! (And my son!) To start, I made delicious "ancient grains" pancakes. Delicious. I love buckwheat! (and this one too) Next I flipped through the newest Vogue issue. Uninspired. Except that I guess seeing all the "behind the scenes" "au naturale" life photos inspired me to go behind-the-scenes of my own life and trot over to the kitchen, take a second cup of my new favorite delicious coffee

and then opened up my browswer to blogger.com to start typing away the thoughts and book in my head. Everyone's an influencer these days. Everyone is spewing their life and minutia and thoughts on the world. Using up energy, space, data centers, heating up the earth. (So why not me?) Thus, here we are. That's all. For now.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of giving FB and metabetawhatevah all my content. I've wanted to just post to my blog. short. long. pics. whatever instead of giving it to a corporation. instead of giving it over to anyone. My content is mine. Me. I am mine. I am my ownself and that's what first drew me into the internet. Well, it was my boss David Boorstin who drew me into the internet. He first told me about it. And then I was hooked. I was an actress-not-really-pursuing-acting...looking for my next thing. ("What am I going to do with my life?!") He told me about the "internet" "netscape" MOSAIC! I went across the street to the McGraw-Hill building and bought a book on "the internet." That was a Friday afternoon. I read it ALL that weekend. Lying on my hat-box patterned sofa. In my little apartment at 40 MacDougal Street. I digressed. So that first "hit" of seeing websites, I got a huge buzz thinking, "I WANNA DO THAT!" I thought (and it's been quoted in many articles about me) I want a web-page. I thought about that famous line from Shakespeare, that I've adapted to: "All the world's a stage and everyone can have their own homepage." This. This is where I can be me. This is where I can express myself fully (well, not too fully) and be safe. I was safe from hecklers, a silent audience, a cough, a theater critic. Safe from rejection of not getting the part. I could stand on my own self-made stage and be me. And I was. And I grew. And it grew. And it imploded. And I imploded. That's it. For now.

Tired

I'm tired of keeping silent. I feel like there's been a huge void of my voice since I left the dot-com scene in the early 2000s... Even as I write "early 2000s" I want to strike it out and write mid-2000s to try and stay relevant just a little longer. I have a book. I have a book I've been working on and off again since 1998. People kept saying "you should write a book!" I have it nearly written. But I need to finish the messy ending. Well, the messy middle. My ending isn't written. I'm still living - living in a new place. A foreign place. Trying to make a little part of it my own. That is all, for now.