For Church this Sunday I must write out the prayers on "Be Joyful." This is good for me to keep in mind as I consider that a business I had been working on (for free) for a year is now something that probably will not move forward. Well, the business may or may not move forward but whether I do with it is another question. The real question is whether I want to or not. I also am apparently going to be docked for being honest on my time sheet and not reporting my full hours, thus having those hours applied to overtime I did in another month. And it's cold, windy and rainy out today and this was the day I decided "oh don't be silly Courtney, it's not winter! Just put away your winter coat and put on a trench coat like all the other people." I also took off my St. James sweater because I was roasting inside. So I left the house with a thin cotton trench coat, no scarf and no wool sweater. I did remember the umbrella, my hat (which almost blew off several times as I crossed a bridge over the Seine) and my favorite, trusty Sportos.
And I do have gratitude. And Joy. I have a loving, supportive husband. I have an adorable, darling little boy who is testing his limits and growing into a bigger little person. I have a nanny I trust and like working for us. There will be a cleaning lady coming on Friday to help with cleaning.
I am clean. I'm clear-headed. I have a lovely roof over my head (i.e. apartment). I have all the food I need to eat. I have food to feed my son. I have so much abundance, I can give away things like the baby clothes, toys and some Hotel toiletries to a charity that needs them. (Mother Theresa's Foyer). I can get out and meet and talk with people. And I get help and answers when I ask for them.
God is working in my life. All I need to do is bring my awareness to it. This morning I felt riddled with anxiety about the work situations. I kept praying to God and just turning it over. I kept focusing on what's the next (right) thing to do. And God is taking care of the rest. Just keep writing. Just keep going where I'm supposed to go and not dwelling on the "problems." These aren't problems. They are learning experiences. And I am learning I need to keep remembering to SPEAK UP COURTNEY. Speak up in the beginning, not the end of a relationship. And I am. Today.
Thanks be to God. Amen! :)